Sitting at junctions too long…

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Lately I’ve been blog challenged. I’ve felt like I have nothing to say, but then I realize that I actually have plenty to say and I’ve just been reluctant to share it. So here’s what’s been on my mind the past few weeks.

It’s funny that I used to feel like my mind was pretty well on track. I always felt like I was moving forward and everything was pretty focused. I’ve had a different feeling about my life lately because of a few conversations that I’ve had with other people. I feel like I’m coming to another one of the many junctions in life. Usually when I pull up to one of these, I have some sort of idea about which direction I want to head in, but I’m totally clueless on this one.

I see my life behind me and I wonder what I’m really accomplishing. Have I left a mark? Do I have a legacy? I begin to wonder if I could make more impact if I were on another track heading in another direction. How can I change my current direction in life to make more of an imprint? What kind of a change am I talking about? Is it career? Is it relational? Is my imprint something that I should even be able to see? Is it time for me to burst out of the gate and hit my stride? Did I miss my chance? What if I change things and I don’t do it right?

Please don’t misunderstand. This isn’t self pity or loathing. It’s just me challenging my stewardship of the life I’ve been given. I know there’s nothing I can do to thwart God’s plan for me, but I sometimes wonder if I’m just making it harder for him to do what he wants to do and I also wonder what I could do to make it easier for him. What am I supposed to be learning here? Prayer should answer that and I believe it still does, but am I acting on the correct things?

Maybe there’s another question I should be asking:

Is this the beginning of a mid-life crisis?

I have been admiring a few Porsche’s lately…

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~ by jtcrespo on March 16, 2008.

4 Responses to “Sitting at junctions too long…”

  1. jerry, you are too young for a mid-life crisis! Besides, I’ve been admiring Porsche’s since i was a kid. 🙂

    Seriously though…I ask myself those exact questions often. What have i come up with? Just what you said…a wholelotta prayer…

    God has something up His sleeve…exciting huh?!

  2. How can I change my current direction in life to make more of an imprint?

    Have children.

  3. Have children.

    That sounds easy. I’ll drop by Target on the way home and pick one up.

  4. It’s not that easy, trust me. If only you could get them at Target!

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